Marvel renames Avengers: Doomsday to Avengers: Deadpool/Doomsday

For the first time in nearly two decades, Marvel has found itself slipping from its pedestal. The studio that once ruled the box office with an iron gauntlet is now in a position nobody thought possible: DC just outgrossed them. Yes, DC, the same studio that gave the world Catwoman and somehow survived. With Thunderbolts falling short despite critical praise and Fantastic Four failing to stretch as far as executives hoped, the real shockwave came when Superman from DC Studios swooped in and outperformed both Marvel entries combined.

Naturally, Marvel needed an answer, and their solution is nothing short of marvelous. Their next big event film, Avengers: Doomsday, is getting a brand new title and a radical makeover. The film will now be released as Avengers: Deadpool/Doomsday. Why? Because the last Marvel movie to make over a billion dollars was Deadpool & Wolverine, and studio executives have decided to stop flirting with what works and just commit fully. If audiences want Deadpool, then they will have Deadpool in every single frame of the movie.

The plan is exactly as unhinged as it sounds. Robert Downey Jr. may be back to lend gravitas, but right alongside him in every shot, whether it is a tense showdown with Doctor Doom or a somber character beat, will be Ryan Reynolds’ Deadpool. Dialogue, monologues, fight scenes, dramatic pauses… all will be punctuated by Deadpool’s endless supply of jokes, innuendos, and fourth wall breaks. Doctor Doom could be hatching world-ending plans, and the film will stop dead in its tracks to make room for a one-liner about Taco Bell.

So here we are, facing a future where Marvel’s survival depends on one man in red spandex hogging the camera. Love it or hate it, the message is clear: when the box office gods demand sacrifice, Marvel will offer up its crown jewels in the form of Deadpool jokes. Avengers: Deadpool/Doomsday will no doubt make its billion. The formula is simple, audiences paid a billion dollars for the last Deadpool movie, so they will happily do it again. And again. And again. It is a safe move, but after a rough year, Marvel is betting that the path back to the top is paved with chimichangas, sarcasm, and one Marvelous rebrand.

-Popcorn Pete