Challengers beat-off stiff competition to win big at the 2025 Golden Globes
In a shocking and disturbing turn of events, Luca Guadagnino’s Challengers snagged the coveted Golden Globe for “Best Movie Scene to Whack It Off To.” The award, a new addition to this year’s ceremony, was created to honor films that “get the blood flowing to places other than your heart.”
The steamy tennis love-triangle drama starring Zendaya, Josh O’Connor, and Mike Faist, beat out stiff competition, including Fifty Shades of Grey: The Musical and Magic Mike Magnum XXL.
Zendaya graciously approached the mic. “Wow, this is such an honor,” she began, only to be interrupted by… well, sounds.
At first, there were just a few cough-like noises from the back of the auditorium. Then, before anyone could process what was happening, a cascade of unbuttoning, belt fumbling, and rhythmic motion swept the audience. Steven Spielberg looked mortified. Quentin Tarantino looked intrigued. Guillermo del Toro lit a cigarette. Jeff Goldblum, ever the professional, casually clapped in slow motion and muttered, “Life, uh, finds a way.”
“I thought whacking was a tennis reference. Uh, is this really happening?” Zendaya asked, visibly horrified as she stepped back from the mic. Josh O’Connor leaned over to Mike Faist and whispered, “This isn’t what they told us at Sundance.”
By the time security attempted to intervene, it was too late. Half the audience was enthusiastically “celebrating” Challengers right then and there. The other half was either filming on their phones or trying to flee the splash zone. Tom Holland was seen wearing a raincoat.
Twitter exploded, dubbing the event #WhackGate2025. One user joked, “The real winner tonight was Kleenex.” Another tweeted, “Zendaya wins a Golden Globe, and everyone else wins a lifetime ban from award shows.”
While most critics argued the category and the celebration was distasteful, the ceremony’s ratings skyrocketed. We haven’t seen anything this big since the Will Smith slap. Hollywood insiders speculate that next year’s awards might even include categories like “Most Paused Scene” and “Best Use of a Love Triangle.”
Hollywood, you’ve outdone yourselves. Game, set, match, whack.
Scoop by Paige Turner