Mean Girls 3-Way

For almost as long as there have been popular girls in high schools, there have been movies about them. For the first Colosseum episode of the year, Videolander Kyle Brown has chosen three such films from three consecutive decades. They are:

Heathers

Clueless

Mean Girls

Were you popular in high school? What do you wear on Wednesdays? And is Paul Rudd immortal? Grab your cell phone, throw on a sexy Santa costume, and let’s talk about movies!

KYLE’S GOLDEN IDOLS

1. Best Location: Heathers Croquet at Veronica’s house

2. Best Character: Heathers JD

3. Best Kill/Death/Defeat: Heathers Heather Chandler dies from chemical poisoning

4. Best Score or Soundtrack: Clueless with songs by various artists

5. Best Screenplay: Mean Girls Tina Fey

6. Best Special Achievement: Heathers Heathers: The Musical

7. Best Scene: Heathers JD pulls a gun

8. Defining Moment/Attribute/MVP: Clueless Cher’s debate

9. Best Director: Mean Girls Mark Waters

10. Wildcard: TIE Clueless & Heathers Best Costumes Award

11. WTF: Clueless Cher gets with her ex-brother-in-law

12. Worst Picture: Clueless

13. Best Picture: TIE Heathers & Mean Girls

Total after deductions:

• Mean Girls: 3

• Clueless: 2

• Heathers: 7

NATHAN’S GOLDEN IDOLS

1. Best Location: RUBBER CHICKEN

2. Best Character: TIE Clueless & Mean Girls Cher & Regina

3. Best Kill/Death/Defeat: Mean Girls Regina getting hit by a bus

4. Best Score or Soundtrack: Clueless with songs by various artists

5. Best Screenplay: Mean Girls Tina Fey

6. Best Special Achievement: Mean Girls Cultural Impact

7. Best Scene: Clueless Supermodel montage makeover scene

8. Defining Moment/Attribute/MVP: TIE Clueless & Mean Girls Comedy really holds up

9. Best Director: Clueless Amy Heckerling

10. Wildcard: Clueless Most Fashionable Award

11. WTF: Heathers Christian Slater’s Jack Nicholson impersonation

12. Worst Picture: Heathers

13. Best Picture: Mean Girls

Total after deductions:

• Mean Girls: 6

• Clueless: 6

• Heathers: Negative 1

APRIL’S GOLDEN IDOLS

1. Best Location: RUBBER CHICKEN

2. Best Character: Clueless Cher

3. Best Kill/Death/Defeat: Mean Girls Tearing down the hierarchy of social expectations

4. Best Score or Soundtrack: Clueless with songs by various artists

5. Best Screenplay: Mean Girls Tina Fey

6. Best Special Achievement: Clueless Iconic Fashion

7. Best Scene: Clueless Supermodel montage makeover scene

8. Defining Moment/Attribute/MVP: Clueless Cher MVP Award

9. Best Director: Mean Girls Mark Waters

10. Wildcard: Mean Girls Ultimate Mean Girl Regina George Award

11. WTF: Heathers Veronica helping with bulimia?

12. Worst Picture: Heathers

13. Best Picture: Clueless

Total after deductions:

• Mean Girls: 4

• Clueless: 8

• Heathers: Negative 1

RACHAEL’S GOLDEN IDOLS

1. Best Location: Mean Girls North Shore High School

2. Best Character: Clueless Cher

3. Best Kill/Death/Defeat: Mean Girls Regina getting hit by a bus

4. Best Score or Soundtrack: Clueless with songs by various artists

5. Best Screenplay: Mean Girls Tina Fey

6. Best Special Achievement: Heathers Dark subject matter with wide and long lasting appeal

7. Best Scene: TIE Clueless & Mean Girls Makeover Montage & Christmas Candy Cane-gram scene

8. Defining Moment/Attribute/MVP: Mean Girls The “Burn Book” is the ultimate mean girl thing to do

9. Best Director: Clueless Amy Heckerling

10. Wildcard: Clueless The Best Dressed Award

11. WTF: TIE Clueless & Mean Girls Cher & Josh age difference & Coach Carr having sex with a a student

12. Worst Picture: Heathers

13. Best Picture: Mean Girls

Total after deductions:

• Mean Girls: 6

• Clueless: 5

• Heathers: Negative 1

Golden idol winner: clueless