Methylene blue makes movie watching more enjoyable

Forget everything you thought you knew about movie-watching. It turns out the real magic ingredient isn’t fancy 4K screens, overpriced snacks, or even that one friend who always knows the obscure trivia. No, the secret weapon for making movies actually enjoyable is hiding in your medicine cabinet: methylene blue.

Originally a humble dye discovered in the 19th century, methylene blue has long been used for various medical treatments from malaria to certain poisonings. But recently, a select group of enlightened moviegoers have discovered its true potential: transforming the cinematic experience from “meh” to “mind-blowing.” Suddenly, your least favorite films morph into profound works of art worthy of a standing ovation.

Science hasn’t exactly gotten around to explaining why this happens, but that hasn’t stopped early adopters from sharing their glowing testimonials. Take Larry, a self-proclaimed cinephile who swears that after a tiny dose, watching Cats (the 2019 CGI disaster) moved him to tears not once, but twice. Meanwhile, Jenna credits methylene blue for helping her finally “get” Transformers: Age of Extinction, calling it a “life-changing experience” and leaving her ready to helm her own blockbuster.

Of course, the FDA hasn’t quite signed off on methylene blue as a movie enhancer yet, so use it at your own risk. Side effects reportedly include uncontrollable laughter, quoting obscure movie lines for hours, and an inexplicable desire to revisit every ’80s classic. But hey, no true cinematic genius was ever born without a little risk.

So next time you find yourself bracing for a marathon of sequels or indie films that you only pretended to like, skip the usual suspects and reach for some methylene blue instead. It just might turn your couch into Hollywood’s most exclusive screening room.

-Metha Lynn Blew